Goblin

White Knight Doodlebug's page

61 posts. Alias of Doodlebug Anklebiter.


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Seventh.

[Stabs GM Niles]


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[Draws weapon and takes defensive stance]

En garde, you neoliberal lickspittle!


After getting through me, mo'fo'!


[Volunteers as a second]


Sissyl wrote:
I'd rather discuss our commie gobbo than Manson.

Wassup, baby? Lookin' good!

(Thankfully, I have avatars)


Comrade Fergie, if you're out there...

She's going to the Shut Down the NYPD Rally later today. If you could make sure she's okay, I'd be much obliged.


It's not French, you fascist, it's Galtanese!

EDIT: I actually developed this alias to defend Madame Sissyl. Or was it Anita Sarkeesian? [Shrugs] I forget.


Vive le Madame Sissyl!


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[Sheathes sword]

I have a different take on Obamacare, and, yes, it involves Senator Baucus's chief health policy counsel going on to a lucrative job at Johnson and Johnson, but Captain Yesterday is correct. We've been going over this shiznit for years.

I think I'm gonna go get high and watch Captain Blood.


Scott Betts wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Scott Betts wrote:
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Well, it's certainly better than "I voted for Bush II and have been overcompensating for it ever since by telling everybody that doesn't agree with me that they don't understand how the political process works!"
Shall we trot out your political decisions at age 19 as an example of why you overcompensate, Anklebiter? Or have you always been the firebrand that you are?

I joined the International Socialist Organization when I was 15 or 16.

Then credit to you for sticking to your guns. Meanwhile, the rest of us are allowed to change our views as we're exposed to more of the world.

I don't really care about your consistency or lack thereof. I do care about you being an insufferable, hectoring* asshat towards Citizen Home.

---
*Got to use it correctly this time!


So reading through more of the Hollaback! website, this thread makes more sense.

While there is some talk of hollering back when safe,* most of the page is about the power of online storytelling and shifting public opinion through conversation. There is even a lengthy academic-ese download, DIALOGUE THROUGH STANDPOINT: Understanding Women’s and Men’s Standpoints of Sexual Harassment, that they recommend thusly:

"This article explains that men and women experience and understand sexual harassment in different ways. Dougherty makes the argument that in order for effective policy on sexual harassment to be created, the standpoints of both men and women will have to be taken into consideration."

I scanned some of it, but it was pretty academic. Might be of some use for some in the thread, though.

---
*"When a man approaches me/Sometimes, I throw a fit/Why? Because Brothers. Ain't. Shiznit." Which I take to be a black woman's [unlike MC Lyte I don't know if I'd say Sister Shante was a feminist] version of the leftist chant "Womans/(or Workers) rights are under attack/What do we do?/Stand up, fight back!" Or, as the brothers and sisters at OUR Wal-Mart would say (Black Friday's just around the corner, comrades!) Stand up, live better.


Irontruth wrote:
White Knight Doodlebug wrote:
Irontruth wrote:

I see nothing wrong with Mr. West's hair.

[Hand on pommel]

You better not.

I like it so much I'm trying to grow hair just like it. Unfortunately the hair on top of my head doesn't cooperate, so I grew out the hair on my chin instead. There's not as much white in it yet, but it's started.

I commend you on your superlative taste in hairstyle fashions.


[Stands at attention]

Ready for duty, Sir!


[Stands guard against further incursions of internet douchebaggery]


And to think, when I first met him there wasn't any white in that hair or beard.

[Sighs fondly, remembering the past; then stabs Comrade Freehold]


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Irontruth wrote:

I see nothing wrong with Mr. West's hair.

[Hand on pommel]

You better not.


Cornel West's hair is perfect and I'll run through any of you Uncle Tom Obamabot hacks who say differently.


Do you know what happened the last time someone dissed Katniss in this thread?

Well, let's put it this way: Kirth Gersen didn't post for a month.

Vive le Katniss!


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Well, you certainly made it further than I did in Hebrew, which never progressed beyond the kiddie level with the vowels added in. But let's stick with this for the moment:

Lord Snow wrote:
She looks kind of terrifying in that picture.

[Hand moves to pommel]

What sayest thou, varlet?


[Lops off Gallo's head]


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I'm not usually in favor of either humility or less vitriol, but I will skewer any of you knaves who upset my dear Madame Sissyl.

Fill your hands, you sons of biznitches!


Fill your hand, sirrah!


Vive le Galt!

Burn it down!

(Sorry about the racist slur in the latter. Alas, this is America; even our abolitionists were often times bigots.)

More paladins


Vive le Galt!!!


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Chattel slavery, serfdom, wage-slavery, all forms of class exploitation are evil, Mama Kelsey and your halfling paladin should burn them all down!

Vive le Galt!


Brazilian-Themed Cross Post!!!

More paladins


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Bunnyboy wrote:
White Knight Doodlebug wrote:
Btw, Mama Kelsey, I just started a campaign in Cheliax. The party doesn't include any paladins, but it does have three halflings.
I foresee that they be kings in end of the campaign.

Actually, they seem to be more interested in dealing drugs than freeing slaves.

We started at 6th-level and one of them looked in Ultimate Campaign--which I haven't even opened--and invested in a Black Market. Next level, he's planning on taking Leadership.

I'm provisionally calling the campaign Kingpinmaker.

[Fascist Hellknight]You see what happens when you give the slaves their freedom? They wallow in crime and vice like a hog in filth! Lord Dice is right![/Fascist Hellknight]


More paladins for Mama Kelsey

Btw, Mama Kelsey, I just started a campaign in Cheliax. The party doesn't include any paladins, but it does have three halflings.

Burn it down!

Vive le Pezzack!


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Mama Kelsey's halfling paladin lies a-molderin' in the grave,
While weep the sons of bondage whom she ventured all to save,
But tho she lost her life while struggling for the slave,
Her soul is marching on!

Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, halleluuuuuujah,
Her soul is marching on!

Burn it down!
Vive le Galt!


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A holiday, a holiday
And the first one of the year

Lord Dice's wife came into the church
The Gospel for to hear

And when the meeting it was done
She cast her eyes about
And there she saw little Doodlebug
Walking in the crowd

"Come home with me, little Doodlebug
Come home with me tonight
Come home with me, little Doodlebug
And sleep with me 'til light"

"Oh, I can't come home, I won't come home
And sleep with you tonight
By the rings on your fingers
I can tell you are Lord Dice's wife"

"But if I am Lord Dice's wife
Lord Dice's not at home
He is out in the far cornfields
Bringing the yearlings home"

And Dicey the Rat who was standing by
And hearing what was said
He swore Lord Dice he would know
Before the sun would set

And in his hurry to carry the news
He bent his breast and ran
And when he came to the broad mill stream
He took off his shoes and he swam

Little Doodlebug, he lay down
And took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Dice
Was standing at his feet

Saying, "How do you like my feather bed
And how do you like my sheets
How do you like my lady
Who lies in your arms asleep?"

"Oh, well, I like your feather bed
And well, I like your sheets
But better I like your lady gay
Who lies in my arms asleep"

"Well, get up, get up", Lord Dice cried
"Get up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair Rhode Island
I slew a naked goblin"

"Oh, I can't get up, I won't get up
I can't get up for my life
For you have two long beaten swords
And I not a pocket knife"

"Well, it's true I have two beaten swords
And they cost me deep in the purse
But you will have the better of them
And I will have the worse"

"And you will strike the very first blow
And strike it like a man
I will strike the very next blow
And I'll kill you if I can"

So Doodle struck the very first blow
And he hurt Lord Dice sore
Lord Dice struck the very next blow
And Doodlebug struck no more

And then Lord Dice he took his wife
And he sat her on his knee
Saying, "Who do you like the best of us
Doodlebug or me?"

And then up spoke his own dear wife
Never heard to speak so free
"I'd rather a kiss from dead Doodles' lips
Than you or your finery"

Lord Dice, he jumped up
And loudly he did bawl
He struck his wife right through the heart
And pinned her against the wall

"A grave, a grave", Lord Dice cried
"To put these lovers in
But bury my lady at the top
For she was of noble kin"

[Burns down Diceton Abbey]


Mikaze wrote:

The new Osirion book might add some fuel to this fire:

Slavery is deeply embedded in Osirion's culture, but while it's still common it's not as comman as it was about a century ago. Andoran's foundation led to increased discontent among Osirion's slave population. Khemet III, the current pharaoh of Osirion, was faced with choosing between severe economic harm to Osirion by aboloshing slavery or risking the ruin of their recently reformed government through slave revolts.

His solution was to compromise: Khemet III put in place the Laws of Equitable Use, which abolished hereditary slavery, established guidelines for slavery as punishment for criminal activity, and prohibited harsh treatment of slaves and killing or marrying them against their wills. He also established the Council of Liberated Slaves. Slaves can still be freely imported, but once in Osirion the current protections begin applying to them as well.

This compromise ended the threat of rebellion and restored order to Osirion. Now Osirian slaves today are much better off than those in Cheliax and Katapesh(and probably Qadira given the chilling description of Sedeq).

Cool detail: Slavery was apparently abolished(by Menedes XVII*) and later reinstated(by Menedes XX**) during the days of Ancient Osirion.

*Apparently one of the more beloved pharaohs of Osirion's history, having even earned a rare place of honor, buried in the Pahmet-run necropolis of Erekrus.

**Apparently one of the least beloved, and not just for the slavery.

When Doodlebug was in pharaoh's land

Let my people goooooooo


Coalition of Immokalee Workers Anti-Slavery Campaign

Another fun tidbit I forgot to mention above: I was reading an article in The New York Review of Books years ago, a review of a couple of new high-falutin', university-press history books and one of them was an analysis of some Jamaican slaveowner's diaries. [EDIT: Behind a paywall, but here it is.]

The dude was quite the list maker. Among many of the other things that he listed, he kept track of all of the slave women he had coitus with. I don't recall the exact number, but it was somewhere in the three-digit range.

More paladins:

Toussaint Louverture
John Brown--he even fought with a broadsword!

Burn it down!

Vive le Galt!


Hey Mama Kelsey, what is your halfling paladin gonna do about all the devil worshipping when she gets to Cheliax?


Mama Kelsey, I took the liberty of assembling some possible role models for your halfling paladin:

Spartacus
Wat Tyler
Thomas Muntzer
Yemelyan Pugachev
Nat Turner
Rosa Luxemburg

Burn it down!

Vive le Galt!!!


Lady Dice wrote:
"It's not cheating if you're with a goblin" trouble started.

'Tis true, milady, it isn't cheating if it's with a goblin.

[Waggles eyebrows]


Lady Dice wrote:

Just ignore anything the Lord Dice has to say on the subject. He's been especially grouchy since, after days (if not weeks) of consultation with the family lawyer, I explained that his official title henceforth would be "The Lord-Consort Dice" whereas I should be addressed as "The Lineal Sovereign Lady Dice."

Yes, I will gladly give kickbacks to goblins. And if the coffers at Manse Dice are running low, so what? Tomorrow is another day! I'm an half-elf, I'll just outlive this Lord-Consort Dice and marry another! (Yes, for the money, that's how it works in the upper echelons of society; no insult, Doodles, but I wouldn't expect a goblin to understand.)

Good morning, milinealsovereignlady.

[Waggles eyebrows]


Percival was pretty paladinny, too, even if his name became Britishiznoid slang for "penis."


Entrapment!


Malachi Silverclaw wrote:

IIRC Lancelot was tricked by Elaine into doing the nasty.

Is failing his save versus 'the nasty' enough to make a paladin fall?

Here we are in DM territory again.

With some DMs a paladin can't play poker for matches, because 'bluffing' is a euphemism for 'lying' so if a paladin bluffs in poker then he falls.

Lancelot must have avoided those bad DMs.

Again, different versions mushing together in my head, but, IIRC, he did it with Elaine thinking he was doing it with Guinevere.

Oooh la la!


I've got the old-skool Legends and Lore in front of me right now and he is, indeed, a 20th-level paladin. Deal with it.

Spoiler:
Two interesting things:

1) The character description is post-Elaine, but pre-menage-a-trois.

2) It says at the beginning of the Arthurian legends chapter that Mallory is the source they are working from.


It makes me wonder if any of Roland's companions would make the cut for the "Lancelot wasn't a paladin" naysayers.


Touche.


Spanky the Leprechaun wrote:
What else is kinda not funny but sad in an ironic way is not two weeks ago somebody accused me of reductionism and said chidingly, "It's okay; we understand.....mostly Americans do this reductionism thing..."

In all fairness to Madame Sissyl and all other non-Americans, this somebody was an American.


I, otoh, have a fondness for "sirrah" and "knave."


Judy Bauer wrote:

And thanks for sharing that interview, Doodlebug Anklebiter! Ursula K. Le Guin's reimagining over time is really evident in the Earthsea books—it's fascinating to read through them in proximity and watch her tease out parts of the earlier books that are problematic, and then dive in and explore the consequences.

My search engine is always at your service, milady.

And, although maybe not feminist per se, I thought The Tombs of Atuan and its subtext of female sexual repression bumped it a notch above the other two in the original trilogy. (Little did we know, at the time, about its subtext of male sexual repression!)

Considering having the Hainish books jump their place in the Great Doodlebug Anklebiter To Read Queue, but not sure...


Beckett wrote:
White Knight Doodlebug wrote:
Vae victis, you ignorant cur.
Apparently not according to paizo's new auto-correct. But everyone knows that Goblins can't read. Add in Galt, and I'm honestly astounded they can even speak a real language.

"About this time an armistice was agreed to and the commanders allowed the troops to communicate with each other. Gallic soldiers used frequently in talking to tell the Romans that they knew they were starving and ought therefore to surrender, and the story goes that the Romans, to make them believe that they were not, threw loaves of bread from various points in their lines down in to the Gallic outposts. None the less the time soon came when hunger could no longer be either concealed or endured. Camillus was raising troops at Ardea, where after instructing his Master of Horse, Lucius Valerius, to bring up his men from Veii, he was busy training a force fit to deal with the Gauls on equal terms--while the beleaguered army on the Capitol waited and hoped. It was a terrible time: ordinary military duties were by now almost beyond their strength; they had survived all other ills that flesh is heir to, but one enemy--famine--which nature herself has made invincible, remained. Day after day they looked to see if help from Camillus was near; but at last when hope as well as food began to fail, and they were too weak to carry the weight of their equipment when they went on duty, they admitted that they must either surrender, or buy the enemy off on the best terms they could get--for the Gauls were already letting it be known pretty clearly that they would accept no very great sum to abandon the siege. The Senate accorindingly met, and the military tribunes were authorized to arrange the terms; Quintus Suplicius conferred with the Gallic chieftain Brennus and together they agreed upon the price, one thousand pounds' weight of gold--the price of a nation soon to rule the world. Insult was added to what was already sufficiently disgraceful, for the weights which the Gauls brought for weighing the metal were heavier than standard, and when the Roman commander objected the insolent barbarian flung his sword into the scale, saying 'Woe to the vanquished!' [Vae victis!]--words intolerable to he Roman ears."

--Ab Urbe Condita Libri V, IL, translated 1960 for Penguin Classics by Aubrey de Selincourt

As my goblin teacher used to intone in the classroom we had converted out of a couple of refrigerators and milk crates down at the dump, "Know your Livy!"


Vae victis, you ignorant cur.


[Performs another pastorella for his nameless beloved]


What's the date?


[Catches the poor, punted goblin, places him on his feet unharmed and then tackles Beckett]

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